News
that the Morecambe Snetzler was to be sold reached the Canon Precentor
of an English midlands cathedral. The main organ was in fine fettle,
but the chamber organ was in a state of collapse. The price of the
Snetzler was right - could the governing body, the Chapter, be persuaded
to agree?
The Precentor: There is an excellent Snetzler becoming available
- we really ought to buy it.
The
Sub-Dean: What's a Snetzler?
The
Archdeacon: Sort of dog - everyone knows that.
The
Chancellor: We must be careful. There is no provision in our
rules for us to acquire dogs and the vergers wouldn't want to exercise
them.
The
Archdeacon: What about St Mary Redcliffe's cat? It was a regular
and devout attender for many years. Noted for its respectful behaviour
to the clergy, too.
The
Dean: We could certainly do with more of that.
The
Archdeacon: My point is that if you can have official cats,
then you can have official dogs - it's probably illegal to discriminate
between them . I'm no cat lover - dogs are a different matter entirely.
The
Sub-Dean: Why always cats and dogs? Snakes make excellent and
affectionate pets. I had a python once that I was training to collect
the newspaper from the doormat - later, I hoped it might go on to
fetching my slippers. It was pure misfortune that the postman pushed
a handful of letters into the box at the wrong moment. What happened
was the man's own fault entirely. Any serpent would have been startled
- so would a cat or a dog.
The
Dean: Or a budgerigar.
A
slight pause ensuing as the Chapter pondered these words of wisdom,
the Precentor explained the nature and historic importance of the
organ on offer
The
Archdeacon: But we have an organ already - a very loud one too.
Keeps waking me up with a start after the Dean's more soporific
sermons.
The
Dean: What's the point of filling the place up with more antique
junk? There's no publicity value for me in that. Half a column in
the local paper if |'m lucky. It's an expensive way of buying media
coverage.
The
Sub-Dean: Another organ won't help us to attract youth. We must
devise a situation with a vital dynamic in which the cultures and
sub-cultures of the young can achieve a bland environment in which
to discover themselves . They don't like traditional musical instruments.
The
Archdeacon: They liked the grand-piano well enough. I saw five
of them dancing on it. That was after they'd wrenched off the keys
and before they projected it down the aisle as an unguided missile.
They'd regard an organ as a new challenge.
The
Dean: I hope I live to see the day when the last cathedral organist
is thrown out with the organ after him - and if the pointed end
of one of the thirty-two foot pipes gets him in the solar plexus,
that's all right by me. What we need is a pop group, not a Snetzler.
All
except the Precentor and the Archdeacon: Hear Hear!
P.S.
The Stiller index of Australasian organs compiled 1978-1986 - records
a Snetzler organ in the Anglican church at Te Aroha. Does anyone
know it?
The site is on www.vicnet.net.au
under document/stiller.
ADDENDUM:
Dr Ross Wards e-mails to say that the Te Aroha organ is not by Snetzler. He adds that, when it was last overhauled, a handwritten signature "Renatus Harris" with the date 1691" was found in the main windchest.
D.Bridgeman-Sutton,
2002.
